Only at sunrise and sunset do I
Think of him. Only at the color of the sky
Or smell of hazelnut in coffee
Only when reading Huckleberry Finn
Or teaching multiplication.
Only if I wake at night unsleeping
And find a child awake
And make a sandwich and play a game
Instead of watching old westerns.
Only if I have to carry sleeping children to their beds from mine
(A thing that hardly ever happens)
Only if I smell the beach or cooking meat
Or hear the stars and have to shush a chatter-child.
Only then and when I think of places that we’ve been,
But those are roads I’ll never drive,
And I stay indoors at night.